Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
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