I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
