theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
