roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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