Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
