how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize