Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
