Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
