You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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