Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
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