I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
