I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
