I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
