also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
