none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize
