is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
