You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
