I was born with a shot glass in my hand
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize