The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
