We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Randomize
