I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
