i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
