K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
