My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
