That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
