i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
