Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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