these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
