two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
party gras won. party gras always wins.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
