can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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