Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
