I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
