I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
