did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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