"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
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Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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