worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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