I must be too annoying 4 u.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
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Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
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He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
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