i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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