I'm laying in your front yard are you home
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
