I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
