well most of my day revolves around power hour
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
