i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
