I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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