ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
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