I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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