how can u be prego again
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize