Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Randomize
