Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
