ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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