I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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