Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
