The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Randomize
