I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
