That's intense
I think my fart just growled at me.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Randomize
