For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I love you. Go after that dick
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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