you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
a search helicopter?!
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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