We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
