is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Randomize
