then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
