I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Randomize
