I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
