Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
