She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
