Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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