whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
